Well-Advised Wisdom

Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.  (NIV, 1984)

Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom. (KJV)


Prov. 13:10

Note the contrast between pride and taking advice—between arrogance and wisdom.  You cannot become wise if you are proud.  The proud person refuses to admit they need anything more and thus rejects any advice (to their shame and to their harm).

How then can we become wise?

• It is important then to be humble in order to become wise.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  The "fear of the Lord" is another way of saying that you are not proud.  If you see God, you cannot remain arrogant.
• Pr. 13:20 says that the person who walks with the wise shall be wise.  Who you hang out with really matters.  Fellowship often with those who are godly and adopt their godly mannerisms and habits.
• Pr. 13:1 says a wise son heeds (hears and does) his father's instruction.  Therefore listen to what your father says and instructs.  By extension, "father" stands for all proper authorities over us.  Listen to what they say, command, suggest, etc.  This includes your pastor, elders, parents, boss, teachers, government officials, etc.  Hear and do.  Don't "hear and argue or chafe or complain."
• James 1:5 says that if you lack wisdom, ask of God; he will give it to you.  Ultimately, none of us are all that wise.  Some of us have more nature, innate foolishness within than any sort of good wisdom and common sense.  Humble yourself and ask God for help.  Ask Him for wisdom about the things that you know that you need wisdom for—but there are probably a dozen other things that you don't even see yet that you need help in.  Why?  Because you don't even have the wisdom necessary to see that there's a problem coming.

Do not be wise in your own eyes (Pr. 3:7).  That is using the wrong weight to measure yourself.  God finds false weights and incorrect measures to be an abomination (Pr. 11:1).  Pride is the worst form of incorrect measuring in God's eyes.

What is the result of gaining wisdom?

Proverbs 16:21 says

• (NIV) "The wise in heart are discerning...."   
• Discerning == "showing insight & judgment; being perceptive."
• (KJV) "The wise in heart shall be called prudent...."
• Prudent == "wise in handling practical matters"

These are necessary qualities to be a leader.  You may not be called upon to be a pastor or a president of a corporation, but you will have leadership roles thrust upon you.  It is part of maturing.  Don't think that you can duck that by saying "Oh, I'm just going to be a housewife."  No, you will have children and you will have to lead them (under your husband, yes, just as he is under the authority of the church).

A leader needs to be perceptive and have insight.  A leader will know where that road leads without having to take it the whole way.  A leader anticipates outcomes and problems and heads off disaster before it arrives.  A leader reads the signs ("Bridge out") and quickly makes a decision for a new plan of moving forward.  He doesn't have to go down that road to discover what "Bridge out" really means

Some call it the "Sheepdog" mentality.  The sheep are busy grazing: "Oooh, look!  Grass!  Ooooh!  and another clump over here!  Yummy!"  But the Sheepdog is watching, moves a wandering sheep back into the flock, watching the whole scene and chases down a wolf before most of the flock even noticed there was a problem.

In Genesis 16:13, after Hagar was found by the Angel and given water, she called God "The Lord who sees."  That is a Leader.  This "seeing" is not a passive watching like someone watching a good show on TV.  No it is seeing the need, anticipating the problem and providing a solution—sometimes even before we know we were in trouble.  We are called to be leaders like that.  See the need from afar and provide direction, solution, or whatever is best at exactly the right time.

Eph 5:25 tells us that husbands are to love their wives exactly as Christ loves the church.  Christ saw our need long before we did and then He provided everything for us His bride.  We are to do that in our rolls of leadership for those under us.

It tells us who we are to be, to become and what sort of spouse we are to look for.  It is a high calling, one that requires a great deal of wisdom.  But Christ is our Wisdom.  We must humble ourselves daily (and even more often) to ask for this wisdom that we will do that next good and right thing which is pleasing in His eyes.  The best leaders are those that follow their authorities the closest.