"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
Rom. 8:28
Most of us know that verse and even pull it out from time to time either to comfort someone who is going through a trial or to find comfort in the midst of our own personal trial. But how many of us stop and think about this verse—this all-encompassing verse—as applicable in every area of our life?
(I should include the disclaimer here that I am
not nor have I been suffering from worry over things that happened to me
as a child. I merely happened to remember a specific occasion where my
parents had said "No" and I had no understanding of why.)
Nevertheless I was recently reflecting on how I was raised. There are things that my parents decided—for one reason or another—that we children should not do. Why? Some I don't know. Others I have a small understanding why. But what about the result? Am I deprived because I didn't go to a certain party with friends? or didn't get to go to a certain amusement park? or a whole host of other "what-ifs"?
No, I had to come to the conclusion that God is sovereign and that He orchestrates all things for my good. If this verse is true (with many others throughout Scriptures that teach the same thing) then even my parents' choices for me that I didn't like still worked out for my good—if I really love God and am one of His children.
This really is a freeing thought. No more angst over why I didn't get to go to the amusement park. No more anger over a confrontation where my parents exerted their prerogative and mine was defeated. No! It has all worked and is working for my good.
How? I don't know all the ways. But here are at least two:
1) I learned to obey and to submit to authorities. That's good. That is exactly what the Bible tells children to do. (Eph. 6:1 - 3) And God's command includes a promise that it will go well with the child that obeys.
2) I Cor. 6:12 "All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." Just because something is technically not wrong doesn't mean that it's best. Even things that are very good should sometimes be avoided. (For example, exercise is good, but I shouldn't miss work to do it.) I'm sure my parents had some over-arching ideal in their mind that saw what I was asking to do did not fit in with the way that my character needed to be developed. Of course, it probably didn't parse out neatly like that, but God is behind it and still brings good out of it in my life. (No, I'm not sanctioning blindly obeying even if it's a sin.)
This understanding should translate to all of our relationships where we are under some other authority: at work, in terms of being a citizen, relating with a pastor or elder. Can we look at what our authority has said then, seeing it is not sin, trust God to work the situation out for His glory and our good if we but submit and obey?
But it also made me think of the incredible responsibility that is placed upon me as a husband and father. I know that I've messed up many times. I've made poor choices, reacted either passively or inappropriately. I've sinned in thought, word and deed. That is a heavy load to think about—especially in view how it can and does affect those around me and those under me.
Yet, God's promises, like his gifts and his calling, are irrevocable. (Rom. 11:29)
This promise still stands. If my family is called by His love according to His purpose and if they truly love Him, then all things (even my mistakes) are being used for their ultimate good and God's ultimate glory.
Someone once said: "You want to see all the good parenting that you can do by yourself? Look at the character flaws and sins of your children. You want to see what God can do through you and in spite of you? Look at the good things that your children are doing."
To God alone be the glory!
